


Rewind

by Deonara2012



Category: B.A.P
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-12
Updated: 2015-03-12
Packaged: 2018-03-17 13:51:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3531683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deonara2012/pseuds/Deonara2012
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>YongGuk's glare haunted YoungJae's dreams as long as he lived. What happened after YoungJae left the subway platform.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rewind

**Author's Note:**

> So I saw One Shot, and went to bed with two thoughts: "Wow, that's a "I'm going to get you" look in YongGuk's eyes, and "what if the Matoki had something to do with it" and woke up with this.

They met again three weeks after the incident on the subway platform. YoungJae had spent one week in the hospital, recovering from fairly extensive (very real) injuries, and the other two "settling in" as his coworkers called it. They told him over and over that it took a while to come out of deep cover like he'd been in, and he marveled at how seamlessly everything fit, including his own (altered) memories. He had no close friends here; at least Joko had spared him that.

YongGuk glared at him when he walked into the interrogation room, and YoungJae carefully closed the door. He knew no one watched from outside the glass, and they would find that the recording equipment had malfunctioned. This interview had to be private. Just as carefully, he unlocked the handcuffs and braced himself mentally. His ribs weren't broken or even cracked by some miracle, but they were bruised and moving wrong still hurt.

So his grunt when he hit the wall was completely unfeigned. YongGuk didn't notice or didn't care - probably the latter - and leaned closer. "How could you?" he growled.

"It was easy," YoungJae said, his voice clear. "Let me tell you why."

Caught by surprise, YongGuk eased back, but only a little. "Okay," he said, his voice rumbling through his chest and setting off warning bells in YoungJae's head.

YoungJae didn't back down, although it would have been so easy. Instead, he pulled YongGuk's head closer to his own until their foreheads touched, and he showed his leader what had _really_ happened on that subway platform, what haunted his nights.

As soon as YoungJae let him go, YongGuk reeled back, staring as he fell into the chair he'd been in when YoungJae had come in. YoungJae followed, ignoring the pain in his ribs, and refastened the handcuffs while YongGuk was still too stunned to resist. "You know there's no room on Mato for insanity," he said softly as he did. "There's less room here for someone like you to go insane. Go ahead and swear vengeance, and come after me. At least you'll have them to help you. Don't worry, Hyung," he added, straightening up with an effort. "I'll make it as entertaining as I can."

He left the room with YongGuk's curses following behind, cut off when the door closed. He sat down at his desk and put his head in his hands, trying to calm down. It took longer than it should have, and he was still on edge when he clocked out to go home.

The nightmare replayed that night, maybe because he'd seen YongGuk that day. YoungJae twisted in his bed, sheets tangling around his legs as he struggled.

_:The first shot killed him, and then he had to watch from somewhere outside himself as YongGuk went down and then DaeHyun fell. JongUp and Zelo followed, and then Himchan, who didn't go easy, breath rattling in his chest. And then somehow, YongGuk sat up, still alive, and killed the last one, but he didn't fall over, didn't die, and the growing madness in his eyes scared YoungJae._

_"We can't leave him," YoungJae protested as Joko lifted him up, once he realized that Shishi merely stood behind YongGuk, watching over him. The rest were already gathered by their own personal guardians brought from Mato when they'd come. "He isn't going to die?"_

_Not right now, Shishi said, his voice echoing in YoungJae's head. Not for a long time._

_YoungJae started to struggle, to get down and do... he didn't even know what. Joko's grip on him tightened, and he finally had to give up. "He's going to go mad," YoungJae said softly. "Can I do anything to stop it?"_

_Anything? Joko asked, his voice not echoing quite so much._

_YoungJae turned his attention to his own guardian, eyes widening at how close the clown-face was. "Is there something?" he asked faintly._

_Yes, Joko said, and the vision of what would happen flashed into his head._

_YoungJae lay quietly in Joko's arms for a long time, processing that. "No other way?" he asked, turning once to glance at the leader of their team, his eyes showing the lessening sanity as the bonds between all of them faded with their deaths. People from Mato weren't meant to be alone, and with all the rest of them gone... there were no others here to take up the slack._

_I have no other choice to offer._

_"All of them dead, and Hyung mad, or my...." YoungJae couldn't even say the word. "That loss shared by five...." In that light, it wasn't hard to accept the offer._

_Between that thought and the next, time_ rewound _. Instead of a bullet to the back, he got one last hug from his leader... and then S.W.A.T. showed up, and he walked away, that glare (that he dreamed even when he didn't see the rest of it) boring holes into his back.:_

YoungJae snapped awake, clothes and sheets soaked with sweat. "I'm sorry," he murmured, even though they couldn't - wouldn't - hear him. "But I don't regret it."

Weeks after the trial ended, YoungJae quit that job, vanishing into the regular populace easily. It'd take them time to track him down when they got out, so he did what he could with the time he had. He heard when they were released and tucked himself in farther, giving them nothing to go on but the bond they all shared. He erased - and double checked - all traces of himself electronically because he could do that. He knew it would only slow them down, but he had promised to make it entertaining.

It surprised him only in that it happened sooner than he'd expected when he opened his door one evening to Zelo and JongUp. It took them a stunningly short time to pack him up and get him out to the van, bound and gagged and tossed in the back. They didn't speak during the short drive, and YoungJae didn't look at them. 

_No matter what happens,_ he thought toward Joko, _I'll take it. Just give me strength to bear it well._

DaeHyun and Himchan pulled him out of the van JongUp had parked in an abandoned warehouse, dragging him between them to where YongGuk waited.

The glare from his nightmare hadn't changed at all.

YoungJae fought them like they seemed to expect even though he knew he'd never get out of there. He'd made his choice and he paid for it now as they took out his betrayal on everything he was.

YongGuk pressed him against the wall sometime near the end of YoungJae's endurance, a mirror image of the time in the interrogation room. This time, YoungJae's ribs were broken, and his left arm hung uselessly at his side, twisted so hard he'd lost the feeling in it. He could barely see, his face so swollen, but with YongGuk so close he could see him. And the unabated hate in his gaze. "You betrayed me," he said softly. "You betrayed us."

"Yes," YoungJae gasped. Nothing felt... real except the pain and the hate boring into him.

"Are you sorry?"

"Yes, but," YoungJae managed before the satisfied expression could cross YongGuk's face.

"But?" he asked, his voice a growl.

"I don't regret it."

YongGuk stared at him in disbelief, and then something cold slid into him, between his ribs, and YoungJae sighed. "Thank you," he mumbled, and slumped to the ground when YongGuk let him go.

It wouldn't be so bad, not with five of them to share the loss, and he... could go home, now, finally.


End file.
